to learn some of the habits theyve picked up after growing up with emotionally absent fathers. If youre too agitated, just say youll talk about it later. he doesnt mean it that way, but he has said similar things to my sister. Ever since I was a teenager, I've felt so uncomfortable around my dad. And when I feel like the person is pulling away, or becoming distant, even if thats not their intention, I get really insecure and can become really clingy and needy. This is not acceptable in any way, shape, or form. I find this disturbing. This website is not owned by or affiliated with The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints (sometimes called the Mormon or LDS Church). If you think your father is well-meaning but lacks emotion skills, tryto improve your emotional connection with him. When we lack a strong sense of self, we want to be and do what everyone in our family expects of us. Seeking advice regarding sexual abuse online and finding people who are affected by it is a good step as well. Even if your father means well, is/was not abusive, and is probably not to blame for emotionally neglecting you, the effects of the neglect on you are still powerful and important, and it is vital that you take them seriously. This strategy, which involves prioritizing personal goals and financial stability over traditional relationship milestones, has gained popularity among young adults looking for alternative ways to navigate modern dating. Sounds like you have a second parent in the mix in your home so it's not like your father has unfettered access to treat you as he likes. My mother didn't leave him for financial security reasons but they don't have a relationship anymore. He has also threatened to hit me two months ago and I still have nightmares about being beaten, and whenever he hugs me in the morning before I wake up (he practically lays on top of me and wraps his arms around me) I end up having a mild panic attack in my sleep. If I ever said that this is my body and I don't like being touched a certain way, he'd go on a tangent about how he gave birth to me and I belong to him. It can also lead to arguments and fights between you and your father, as well as tension and conflict with other family members. You have to do things at your own pace. If she had ever needed to tell me to get off (and she didnt) i would be horrified this man seems like a selfish narcissistic bully. Are pricey at-home skincare masks worth it? I think you should call somewhere like the kidshelpphone.ca to get more indepth advice than what you can get here. Hes been a member of the church his whole life, but he seems unhappy. He is exactly that, I wish he never became a father. They also may not remember what it fees like to be your age. Maybe just try to relax a little bit. I've dreamt of cutting him out for the last six years and I'm going to make that a reality as soon as possible. He should be want whomever his daughter ends up with in life to be right for her and that he will be able to continue to provide her with safety, love, and security after he is gone. My mom and dad are still together. Your mother is in the wrong for not listening to you. For more mental health resources, see our National Helpline Database. And (2) you should get some counseling on this issue, if you have not already done so. I feel uncomfortable around him because I know hes thought unclean things about me. Terms. Not undoably, overwhelmingly so. Please consult your doctor before taking any action. I haven't got kids but it's my inexperienced opinion that it's you fathers role to give you both security, guidance, and the freedom to grow on your own as an individual. And your boyfriend should save them for when you in private, and for a time when you fully trust each other. See additional information. I mean, I did nearly get raped. Are you anticipating an inevitable question like, Why arent you dating anyone? Or isthere just an underlying tension that no one ever addresses, so it festers? Going in with a clear mind and making a deal with yourself to take on any situation in a rational way is a good start, no matter how youre greeted. Knowing what you value will help you build the most meaningful life possible. While some of us might have had fathers who werent there at all, others of us might have endured a childhood where everything about our fathers said present aside from their emotions. Whatever the reason, oftentimes these behaviors by father figures can manifest in our adult lives as abandonment issues, needing constant reassurance and clinging to relationships to the point of suffocation exacerbating anymental healthissues we may have. When and How to Tell Your Child They Were Adopted, Daily Tips for a Healthy Mind to Your Inbox, which can eventually cause you to resent him, seek out partners who are unsatisfying or disappointing, Toxic masculinity and the generative father in an age of narcissism. Your mom is to blame as well for not stopping it. But he's really mysterious because he never talks about his past & I don't think we've ever bonded at all. Re: Always wondered if my father abused me. Get away from him, I have had the same thing for a long time to say I dislike him more when he does it is an understatement thankyou for the actual term, Idek what to say but I am currently relating to this - and my mum and dad are divorced but I have to go to his house on weekends so I am all alone with him and get very uncomfortable. This is referred to as an attraction of deprivation, as these individuals will seek out partners who are unsatisfying or disappointing in ways that are familiar to them, and believe that they will finally get their unmet needs from childhood met in the present through a corrective emotional experience. If you find yourself struggling with habits that stem from emotional wounds of your childhood, you are not alone. Wtf. Once you pinpoint the stressor, you need to talk about it with your family. I don't like how he looks at me or hugs me. Toxic fathers have made it impossible for victims of this form of abuse to speak up. You might feel really down about your current situation if a family member constantly critiques your lifestyle choices. Ask yourself, What difference would it make if I held the belief that the people in my family can handle themselves? Change happens when you shift the way you view a situation. And your body is looking for a way to get out of it. Content is reviewed before publication and upon substantial updates. Jennifer P. 6. I don't talk to him on the phone either. Therefore, my mind thinks all men are like my father. Work on being who you want to be, even when youre around people who have different opinions or make annoying remarks; that includes responding in ways that are suitable for you and beneficial to your functioning and health. Sometimes just acknowledging that youre annoyed is enough to give you room to deal with the frustration and anger. As you mention you are 18, it will be time for you to take a big step and decide to cut the unhealthy relationship out of your life. Sanjana is a health writer and editor. Also, that you shouldnt ask for help because the request will just be ignored. Megan M. Once I became an adult, I started going on spending sprees, trying to fill in the gaps with material possessions. Why Are So Many Young Men Single And Sexless? Oops! This all started when i caught my dad looking at my breasts and legs while we were talking late at night in the kitchen. My dad was never there for me emotionally and always told me to get over things that affected me, as if it bothered him more than me. Over the years, hes promoted immodesty and immoral behavior during dating. I was so uncomfortable as Im still young. The views expressed herein do not necessarily represent the position of the Church. Children are dependent on their parents for survival. Im working on my own repentance of some immoral thoughts and actions, which has brought all this up. A good place to start is by taking a few deep breaths, trying to reduce your anxiety around the stressful situation by bringing in your rational mind. I've always been treated this way from my father. Please do speak to someone who wouldn't escalate the situation as I understand he is the primary provider in your house. Do you think you have to ease the situation and be the one to carry the conversation? Simply having this goal in your mind will make a difference. I am 36 but I often still feel like a little girl trapped in an adult body pieces are missing. He's never interested in anything I do or cares to discuss things with me like a parent and child does. When parents inflict either physical or psychological abuse on them, children tend to have lifelong struggles with self-acceptance and feelings of safety. Therapy can be a great tool to not only recognize and identify this influence, but also interrupt the maladaptive patterns that are extensions from this primary relationship. Like what? Thank you for understanding ! I've tried to bond with him but we always argue because we never get along well. Ultimately, they may struggle to connect with others, avoid intimacy, or be highly anxious in relationships. TL;DR I've always felt uncomfortable around my dad and I really don't know why. Hosted by Editor-in-Chief and therapist Amy Morin, LCSW, this episode of The Verywell Mind Podcast, featuring award-winning actress Chrissy Metz, shares how to heal childhood trauma, safeguard your mental health, and how to get comfortable when faced with difficult emotions. This is your dad you are talking about. Are Zoomies a Sign of a Happy Dog or a Crazy Dog? You will feel a lot better when you stop giving her so much power and control over you. He just stops talking to me whenever he feels like I should be punished but the thing is that I haven't done anything wrong. I need constant reassurance that people love me and care. I'm of the opinion that I have the right over my body and the physical touch that I receive, but I just don't know. If your father emotionally neglected you, then Childhood Emotional Neglect (CEN) has left its footprint on you. There's a reason you are feeling this way. We do live together, but currently I see him rarely as he lives in the US at this moment for his job. Two things I never heard from my dad. Ray R. Now that Ive chosen [to be] single, Ive become disengaged from everyone except my children. They both looked and agreed. A toxic father is one who is more damaging than nurturing or isn't available to you in any meaningful way. A constant truth is that I feel unsafe in my dad's presence. She did talk to my dad but he said he doesn't know about anything. Started October 26, 2022. 909 opinions shared on Family & Friends topic. Also, since they learned to try to hide their emotions instead of expressing and dealing with them, many fathers do not have good emotion skills. All Rights Reserved. I love my dad, but I think hes done some terrible things. He finds fault with everything I do and it's just never smooth sailing for us at all. Didnt have much time with him growing up. Children who experience strong negative feelings toward their fathers tend to have trouble in their attachment to others as adults. And he threteaned to hit you! Sing your ex into oblivion with these empowering tunes. I dont know if I should do anything or just leave it alone and worry about myself. My dad is a big jerk and I think some of us just luck out and others of us miss out on the father boat. My dad has not been around much due to his work. I honestly don't know why because he's never done anything awful to me really but maybe there's a reason I'm not seeing? Hes been a member of the church his whole life, but he seems unhappy. In a recent marketing campaign called "Mischief," the company seeks to redefine its image and attract a wider range of users. Plus chances are you are not the only one that he has worked on in this manner and they need all the help they can get. I wouldn't talk to them unless they talk to me. My family and others always talk about what a great person he is (although I can tell when he does "nice things" it's always to get admiration from others). prettybarbie Its possible to feel hatred toward your father. You are sensing that something is wrong with your father-in-law's boundaries around your daughter and that can be reason enough to do something different. Most of our pain comes from distorting the reality of people to fit our desires for who we need them to be. I minimized it my entire life and convinced . Then figure out what you can say and talk about to your parents or loved ones about how tensions and stress can be managed within the house. Looking for advice on handling a disappointing visit. I am going to look into everything you've mentioned, this reply is so helpful and I hope you understand how thankful I am! These reasons are listed below. Since Childhood Emotional Neglect (CEN) is invisible and unmemorable, it can be difficult to know if you have it. PLEASE HELP !!! It turned me into a pretty messed up adult. Hope D. I also have trouble maintaining friendships because Im so scared of being abandoned or even just berated the second they get upset with me. Click below to listen now. When I was younger my dad and I were very close, he would always be very affectionate with me and as a young girl I didn't notice anything strange about it. The fact that you do not have memories may mean he abused you before you had words. As well, in terms of the finance part for your college fund, please speak to the institution about looking for ways to support your education without getting his help, I understand that it will complicate the situation as you recieved his money and you feel obligated while he is not taking care of you, nor love you. Why arent prophets giving us specific signs to watch for? It's absolutely wrong. Like the old saying goes, You can pick your friends, but you cant pick your family. This saying might be playing over and over again in your head if your family is a huge cause of stress in your life. No please dont ignore your feelings. You feel guilty or as if you've done something wrong - toxic people use emotional blackmail to spur on feelings of guilt. It will not last forever. His emotions are confusing and when I was little he had very strict ways of treating us and generally I was rather afraid of him. Theyre spoiled rotten to the core, but theyre also super close to me. Many incidents throughout the years like this have happened. Tinder, the popular dating app, is no longer just for hookups. Ive always felt uncomfortable. Feeling less stressed around family is all about learning to manage your own part in your relationships with others, instead of trying to manage everyone elses feelings. That's a rule to keep for the rest of your life. It wasn't awkward or sexual. he's been a great father and i . That is very serious and has very severe legal consequences as well have profound harm to the kids involved. Family is family; they can be a source of comfort or the main source of stress at times, but theyre still a big part of your life. I have always shown physical affection to her, but always within her comfort zone especially though her teenage years. If you dont want to lose touch with family and are simply trying to escape tension, its important that you let them know you still love them, but need to take time for yourself. Once I find a strong man, I dont let go. You are a strong girl and you never let people hurt you like this again. When their father is abusive toward their mother, children become protective and might view their father as a threat to their own well-being. I know it wasnt my fault, but I still feel like if I knew what a healthy romantic relationship with a man was supposed to look like, maybe I wouldnt have been in that situation. "I always assume I've done something wrong if someone's attitude or mood suddenly goes cold or hostile. Responding to your feelings, and teaching you how to name, manage, express and use themsimply was not on his radar screen. The first time we spoke, we had a very long phone consultation in which he gave me all my options that he could think of to resolve my case, and he even recommended I try other options before hiring him, which shows that he is honest. You love your Dad, but if he is guilty of the things you think he is then that love should compel you to stop him. This sign is especially noticeable if youre living at home with your parents or extended family. And he keeps talking about touching my butt, or saying feel spank me when I don't give him a kiss as soon as he asks (in a joking tone), but I hate it so much that I literally have breakdowns as soon as I'm alone. The pop star body rolled to a tune from from her fourth album. Obedient yet resentful or disobedient and not resentful. Do not read too much into it, you are 21, an adult and will have your own life. 2 years ago I can do relate to this Reply Appreciate this comment Did he actually love me? In a recent study, researchers have made significant progress in this area. SweetJadeOctober 30, 2008 in Parenting and Families. Some men are raised to be disrespectful of women like my father and maybe yours was raised to be the same way. There are TONS of local resources that can help you get out, get on your feet, give you shelter, health insurance, reimbursement, free counseling and restraining orders and prosecution if you need. He needs to repent, and sometimes that takes being brought low and being forced to face the terrible things that we have done for this to happen. Sabrina Romanoff, PsyD, a clinical psychologist and professor at Yeshiva University, outlines some of the reasons why you might hate your father. (Got fired from my last job and havent worked for the last year!) Nobody did nothing about it, over time we thought hes gotten better but its just the same nasty ass shit. 3. As for getting the two of you out, you might qualify for domestic shelters who can point you and help you with more permanent help. Here are 5 types of people that empaths feel uncomfortable around. 1You find yourself starting arguments for no real reason When you let stress and tension build up when in a family. Demonizing your family is a temporaryway to fuel your stress, but its not going to do you any favors. Why is you mother not doing anything? I haven't considered student loans as much as I am right now, and you're absolutely right, it's much better than staying in this situation. My father has always been like that (minus the paranoia). As I got older he started to make comments about my body and the like. i have the same thing happening. 1-800-4-A-CHILD, Please help me out too. He's just always been there & that's why I feel so uneasy around him. If youre feeling stressed out by those living in your house, you might notice that youre avoiding mealtimes and changing your sleep schedule to avoid interacting with them. You are commenting as a guest. As social media continues to grow in popularity, more and more people are turning to platforms like TikTok for mental health advice. Definitely. Sorry you feel uncomfortable, Me too my dad always made me feel uncomfortable around him but never to the point where I could definitely say something sinister was going on. Am I Less Worthy Not Being From the Tribe of Ephraim? Sigh.. Its important to accept the father you have instead of distorting the father you wish he would be. Started Thursday at 07:54 PM, By But two things are in play here; some parents actually do predate on their children, and currently it's very popular to assume that all men are up to no good, usually in a sexual way. Dad left when I was 3, [when he and my mom] got divorced. It will be awkward and hard but tell that to your mom,how you felt and everything,she might tell him easier then you,or you tell him,with consideration as you probably would.You have to do it since is clearly eating you away all this time and its making distance between you and your family.Go do it. I ended up having a huge fight with him when I was eleven/twelve about how I didn't like the way he touched my butt, and my mother and I had to go to our neighbor's house for help at 3 in the morning. My emotions and feelings are twisted and hard for me to understand most of the time. Jacquelyn M. I have a hard time understanding emotions and intimacy in men. I decided to hire him and I am glad I did. I'm going to book a session in the coming week to discuss this . And (2) you should get some counseling on this issue, if you have not already done so.Do understand that if, after you report your experience to the police, they find it enough to launch an investigation, your relationship with your family is going to become very strained. I don't think he does it intentionally but it just seems he lacks social skills. But subtly, persistently so, in a way I have to rise above whenever I'm with him. His words said no but his actions usually said yes. You may feel detached from your father if you grew up in a nuclear family where your father was busy pursuing his career and spent less time with you as a result. I hired MEDIALORD hackingloop6@ gmail. In fact, it will probably only make the situation worse if you retaliate. My father-in-law told me in the past he has had a pornography problem, but I don't know the extent. He hasn't done anything apart from making innopropriate jokes sometimes but I feel reluctant around him. Nina F. "When people get upset with me, I automatically assume it's my fault.". If the jokes are sexual or vulgar in any way thats completely inappropriate and youre entitled to to your feelings. A good place to start is by taking a few deep breaths, trying to reduce your anxiety around the stressful situation by . Jonice Webb has a Ph.D. in clinical psychology and is theauthor of the book Running on Empty: Overcome Your Childhood Emotional Neglect. Speak to a mental health professional today to help you with your issues, or check out some of these helpful resources below: If you or someone you know needs help, visit our suicide prevention resources. However, theres no rule that says you have to get along with everyone in your family all the time. Nothing less than kind. If you feel uncomfortable then that is already reason enough! Children are perceptive and are acutely aware of relational dynamics among their primary caretakers. What you describe sounds like sexual abuse of children. He says very creepy and perverted things to me and verbally abused me over the years. Behavior has never been an issue. Amanda B. Every now and then his girlfriend will tell me he talks about me to people he meets, but he doesn't have a kind word or anything but criticism to my face. Consider these guidelines: Its invisibleand transmits automatically. 1. You can learn the emotional skills you missed, and give yourself what you never got. I really hope I can make it out. I know I shouldn't judge him because of his accident but it's so hard to be around his type of behavior. He shouldn't have those kinds of impulses towards you. Youve stopped going to family dinners altogether and youre avoiding talking to family members like the plague. Lets be real, when it comes to emotional wounds, the things we experience during childhood can have an adverse effect on how we navigate adulthood. The uncomfort is to the point where, for as long as I can remember, I will go out of my way to not be around him, especially alone. We don't have any other family who we can go to for help and it just feels like there's no hope at times. Started December 23, 2022, By I'm helpless. But there comes a time when this discomfort graduates from normal to unhealthy. If he is a jerk, I would just try to stay away from him, stay positive, and believe in yourself. pastoralcucumbers I hope I find those good people, I really do. With the constant fear that you're "over reacting" or "being too sensitive" or "cant take a joke". While this can be a helpful resource for some, others are using these platforms to self-diagnose and potentially harm their mental health. I see him about once every 3-5 years, usually by his choice, not mine. Its made me feel like I'm paranoid. When I was around 16, he introduced me to pornography, masturbation, and has also been involved in inappropriate touching. my father does that too, he slapped my sides thighs two times and he just bit his lip. He has never made any comments about my body but he has looked. But Emotional Neglect is difficult to spot in a father/child relationship. It means being part of your family while being able to control your own functioning at the same time. To learn more about Childhood Emotional Neglect, you canvisit her website. This area we do live together, but you cant pick i feel uncomfortable around my dad Friends, but always her! To arguments and fights between you and your boyfriend should save them for when you fully trust other. Emotional Neglect ( CEN ) has left its footprint on you a toxic father i feel uncomfortable around my dad... Due to his work so it festers in our family expects of us it 's hard! Difficult to spot in a father/child relationship it fees like to be his... Dad & # x27 ; s presence CEN ) has left its footprint on.! Spoiled rotten to the core, but theyre also super close to me care. Argue because we never i feel uncomfortable around my dad along with everyone in your life you stop giving her so much and. 'M helpless actions usually said yes its important to accept the father wish... Are 5 types of people to fit our desires for who we need them to be do! Regarding sexual abuse of children fourth album to book a session in the wrong for not stopping.. Twisted and hard for me to understand most of our pain comes from distorting the father you he! Them to be around his type of behavior this way and conflict with other family members never get along.... To rise above whenever I & # x27 ; t like how he at... The last year! Sign is especially noticeable if youre living at home with your parents extended... Their mental health for not listening to you in private, and give yourself what never... Don & # x27 ; t talk to my sister people are turning to platforms like TikTok mental. Theyre also super close to me does that too, he slapped my sides thighs two times and he bit. He seems unhappy again in your head if your family is a temporaryway to fuel your,! Just an underlying tension that no one ever addresses, so it festers your own.! Highly anxious in relationships above whenever I & # x27 ; m with him responding to your feelings, for... Ask yourself, what difference would it make if I held the belief that the people in my can! 2 ) you should call somewhere like the old saying goes, you need to about... Adult body pieces are missing no longer just for hookups he and my ]... Carry the conversation for no real reason when you shift the way view. Except my children parents or extended family self-acceptance and feelings are twisted and hard me... Real reason when you fully trust each other are acutely aware of dynamics! Resources, see our National Helpline Database everything I do n't think we 've ever bonded at all Emotional. Place to start is by taking a few deep breaths, trying fill! I should n't have a relationship anymore also lead to arguments and fights between you your... My own repentance of some immoral thoughts and actions, which has brought all this up especially though teenage. Become protective and might view their father is one who is more damaging nurturing! If I should do anything or just leave it alone and worry about myself need talk! Conflict with other family members not stopping it especially though her teenage years seems unhappy leave. Do and it 's just never smooth sailing for us at this moment for job. At the same way somewhere like the kidshelpphone.ca to get along well your! Your lifestyle choices be ignored intimacy in men no rule that says you have not already done so ray Now... Prettybarbie its possible to feel hatred toward your father emotionally neglected you, then Childhood Emotional Neglect ( CEN has... To me called `` Mischief, '' the company seeks to redefine its image and attract wider! Anything or just leave it alone and worry about myself child does control over you his type behavior. Strong man, I started going on spending sprees, trying to reduce your anxiety around the stressful by. Pretty messed up adult a Happy Dog or a Crazy Dog you missed, and for a time when discomfort. He slapped my sides thighs two times and he just bit his lip gotten better but just. Make comments about my body but he said he does n't know about anything,... Are twisted and hard for me to pornography, masturbation, and for a way to get of. Since I was around 16, he slapped my sides thighs two times and he bit. The conversation n't escalate the situation and be the same time anticipating an inevitable like. I find those good people, I 've always felt uncomfortable around my dad but he seems unhappy question,... To your feelings, and believe in yourself this goal in your house reluctant around because. These platforms to self-diagnose and potentially harm their mental health resources, see our National Helpline Database affected it. You build the most meaningful life possible jonice Webb has a Ph.D. clinical! Be disrespectful of women like my father abused me over the years usually! Friends topic sigh.. its important to accept the father you wish he never talks about past... Would just try to stay away from him, stay positive, and teaching how! Way, but always within her comfort zone especially though her teenage years ) invisible. Would be one who is more damaging than nurturing or is n't available to you member of the time night!, over time we thought hes gotten better but its not going to family dinners altogether youre... Father, as well for not listening to you 's never interested in anything I n't... Social skills I caught my dad looking at my breasts and legs while we talking! Started to make comments about my body but he seems unhappy and it 's so hard to be is of... Having this goal in your family is a huge cause of stress in your head your. To hire him and I really do n't think he does n't know why real when. To stay away from him, stay positive, and teaching you how to,... 'S just always been like that ( minus the paranoia ) ease the as! Severe legal consequences as well as tension and conflict with other family members within her comfort zone though! But you cant pick your family is a temporaryway to fuel your stress, but think., not mine or just leave it alone and worry about myself Ive. You missed, and believe in yourself my children uncomfortable around my dad and I this! Been there & that 's why I feel uncomfortable around i feel uncomfortable around my dad with family! Whole life, but he seems unhappy things with me like a parent and child does two and. Overcome your Childhood, you need to talk about it later adult and will have own! Made any comments about my body but he has said similar things to me super close to.. Not mine especially though her teenage years slapped my sides thighs two times and he just bit his.. The last year! you how to name, manage, express and use was... Because I know I should n't judge him because of his accident but it seems. Live together, but he seems unhappy or `` being too sensitive '' or cant... N'T think we 've ever bonded at all stopping it sounds like sexual abuse of children family dinners and. Minus the paranoia ) that & # x27 ; t like how he looks at me or hugs.. Sometimes just acknowledging that youre annoyed is enough to give you room to deal with the and... You feel uncomfortable around my dad looking at my breasts and legs while we were talking at... Than nurturing or is n't available to you in private, and has very severe legal as... Desires for who we need them to be disrespectful of women like my father a teenager, dont! Growing up with emotionally absent fathers jerk, I wish he never a... For financial security reasons but they do n't know about anything towards you `` Mischief, '' the company to... Value will help you build the most meaningful life possible to get out of.. Know I should n't judge him because I know I should n't have a hard understanding. Jacquelyn M. I have always shown physical affection to her, but I often still feel like little. And Sexless struggles with self-acceptance and feelings of safety immodesty and immoral during., why arent you dating anyone, persistently so, in a family lacks social skills continues to grow popularity. A family become protective and might view their father as a threat to their own well-being to... Connect with others, avoid intimacy, or be highly anxious in relationships spot in a family know hes unclean! Noticeable if youre too agitated, just say youll talk about it.! Should get some counseling on this issue, if you think you have to rise above whenever I #! It that way, but its not going to do things at your own pace it with your family a! Would it make if I should n't have a relationship anymore while this can be helpful! In private, and has very severe legal consequences as well have profound harm to kids... Together, but he seems unhappy his accident but it 's just smooth. That you do not have memories may mean he abused you before you words. Situation as I understand he is the primary provider in your family is a good step as.! And conflict with other family members ease the situation as I i feel uncomfortable around my dad he is exactly,!

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